Tyle’s Tales from the Supermarket

It’s been two years since I started work in a 24 hour grocery store. Most days are the same, but every once in awhile you get some real weirdos that make you wonder, wtf is wrong with this one? Here’s a few random memories I have while working with these wtf moments

Story #1

For a short while I work the graveyard shift. As one could imagine this would lead to see some interesting things. One of these led to a drunk chick coming in and flashing her boobs at me. Being a guy you’d think I find that awesome, but I was working and did what I could to not look, I only half succeeded. She came in bragging about how she’d gotten her nipples pierced and wanted to show them off. Only wearing a hoody She unzziped and let her boobies fly out. After selling her and what I only assumed to be her boy toy some beer they walked off. While leaving she screamed out “I wanna have sex sooo badly!”. It was quite the intruiging night of work.

Story #2

I had a spielberg fanatic come in one night. I offered to help him through my line saying I was faster then the machine, but he refused. Once he’d started scanning his items he came back to me saying he knew what I was trying to do. Apparently I only offered to help him because I was trying to protect my job. But it didn’t matter because some day machines would run everything. I spent a good ten minutes having to listen to him rant about how it’ all work. How self scans woud be able to operate on their own, how conveyor belts would be able to stock all the shelves perfectly, how humans would be unneeded in life. All I could do was nod and say, sounds interesting. Every reference he gave me to look into were sci fi movies and books. Thankfully I only ever had to deal with him that one time.

Story #3

This one greatly disturbed me. There was a lady of at least 400 pounds, maybe more, that bent over in front of me as I was working the guest service desk., not wearing any underwear because she was looking at sunscreen for the beach or something. I spent a good five minutes looking away greeting customers as they came in to the unsightlyness that was a big ol butt in their face.

Story #4

Yet another one about me being on the graveyard shift, I think there’s a trend here. Down the street from where I live is a house full of Mexicans. Not trying to sound racist or anything, there’s just a house full of 20 or so Mexicans in there. ONe night all of them unloaded out of a Van and came into the store in a longer bigger then kids in a lunch line. Within ten minutes I’d sold out all of the Corona we had and a few other cases of who knows what. Then with their what must have been 200 pounds of beer they all reloaded into the Van. Keep in mind htough, some of them were little children, maybe 4-7 in age.

Story #5

This one wasn’t while I was on graveyard shift, but I was the only one on a checkstand at the time. One customer we have I swear is Schizophrenic. She was using the self scan behind me while I had a line full of customers. The whole time I was helping customers she was going on some rant about a company that does nothing but cheat and lie to get everyones money. Each customer looked at me funny asking if she was talking to them. I shrugged and said I didn’t know, which I really didn’t. For all I knew she was talking to the machine again. All I remember form her rant was something about robots and lasers and stealing our money.